Ralph the Wonder Llama

…anyone keeping up with this? I’d hate you all to become as lazy as me.

Actually, that’s not strictly true – considering I’m supposed to be resting in this immediate post-work period, I’ve been pretty busy. It’s only the past few days I’ve been able to sit down and do not much, using as my excuse the First Test in South Africa, the first time I’ve been able to watch the majority of a game for ages. Who knew an England batting collapse and dramatic last-over draw could be so therapeutic?

Anyway, since I am currently waiting for a parcel to be delivered (which will, naturally, turn up sometime between four and six while I’m out being shrunk), I might as well use the time to bring you up to speed. Edited highlights only, mind, cos I carnt really be arsed to be honest. Sorry.

So, after finishing work on 27 November I met up with some very old and dear friends of mine in the Guildford Arms, the prelude to a weekend of good company and celebration of my first retirement (regrettably not the last, since I’m not nearly wealthy enough, but for now at least). We then all headed to the Gurkha Brigade for dinner, where I have in recent times become rather popular, possibly on account of taking all my friends there at some stage or another. Trouble is, I’ve now run out of friends, so should probably take advantage of the offer of accommodation in Pokhara in Nepal sooner than later. On the Saturday we had a little party which was good fun, and Jan and Dave bought me an enormous cake, which was, and in fact still is, very nice:

Lovely people. And Steve bought me a pipe and slippers. Git.

We (Steve, Jean, Gerry, Claire and I) indulged in a spot of home-town tourism over the weekend, taking in the castle on Saturday (free courtesy of St Andrew) and Mary King’s Close on Monday (though Claire had left on the Sunday afternoon), two things I’d never before seen in eight-and-a-half years here. Right, now I can safely leave…

All in all, a good weekend, if bloody freezing.
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That Philip Pullman’s a clever chap isn’t he? It’s nice to see that people don’t just pull these names out of thin air.

Anyway. What am I blithering on about now? Well, since it’s been so long I thought I’d say hello, but I’m far too tired to bring you up to date just now. Some stuff has happened in the past three weeks, but nothing that can’t wait to tell. I’m tired because I’ve spent six hours cleaning my flat, and only the kitchen and bathroom are done. Like Lyra, my life is currently dominated by dust. Mine is rather more mundane than hers, though, consisting as it does largely of plaster. The decorators have gone, and they’ve done a pretty good job (pics to follow when the place is back to normal), but it looks like nothing so much as a well-decorated plaster factory in which there’s just been a rather nasty explosion. I shall be sleeping upstairs till the rest is done, since most of my stuff is in the bedroom, and I shall be starting to sleep there very very shortly, since I’m knacked.

When I get a chance I’ll tell you about parties, cake, visiting old friends, totem poles, decorating, visas, stupid bankers and yoga. Probably.