Ralph the Wonder Llama

…anyone keeping up with this? I’d hate you all to become as lazy as me.

Actually, that’s not strictly true – considering I’m supposed to be resting in this immediate post-work period, I’ve been pretty busy. It’s only the past few days I’ve been able to sit down and do not much, using as my excuse the First Test in South Africa, the first time I’ve been able to watch the majority of a game for ages. Who knew an England batting collapse and dramatic last-over draw could be so therapeutic?

Anyway, since I am currently waiting for a parcel to be delivered (which will, naturally, turn up sometime between four and six while I’m out being shrunk), I might as well use the time to bring you up to speed. Edited highlights only, mind, cos I carnt really be arsed to be honest. Sorry.

So, after finishing work on 27 November I met up with some very old and dear friends of mine in the Guildford Arms, the prelude to a weekend of good company and celebration of my first retirement (regrettably not the last, since I’m not nearly wealthy enough, but for now at least). We then all headed to the Gurkha Brigade for dinner, where I have in recent times become rather popular, possibly on account of taking all my friends there at some stage or another. Trouble is, I’ve now run out of friends, so should probably take advantage of the offer of accommodation in Pokhara in Nepal sooner than later. On the Saturday we had a little party which was good fun, and Jan and Dave bought me an enormous cake, which was, and in fact still is, very nice:

Lovely people. And Steve bought me a pipe and slippers. Git.

We (Steve, Jean, Gerry, Claire and I) indulged in a spot of home-town tourism over the weekend, taking in the castle on Saturday (free courtesy of St Andrew) and Mary King’s Close on Monday (though Claire had left on the Sunday afternoon), two things I’d never before seen in eight-and-a-half years here. Right, now I can safely leave…

All in all, a good weekend, if bloody freezing.

Prior to all this, lest I forget, was the Basanti home party that I hosted for Imogen’s company. She turned my flat into an ethical Indian craft bazaar:

and we had a select but enthusiastic and generous crowd in and everyone seemed to have a pretty good time of it. I shan’t say much more, as you’ll all then know what you’re getting for Xmas…

I then spent a few days clearing most of my flat into the bedroom so that the decorators could come in and make an enormous mess of the place in the process of making it look a bit more beautiful, in both of which aims they succeeded very well. There’s a couple of bits to tidy up, and still, after several days’ effort, some cleaning to do, but on the whole it looks good. The kitchen proved expensive since the ceiling was in a rather more precarious state than at first appeared to be the case, but what can one do? I do at least now have rather nice down-lighting, a much cheerier lounge and an infinitely less cracked bathroom. Best to get it done while I had the money, I think.

Before:

After:

What else? Well, while the decorators were in I decided to pay a visit to two old friends of my Mum’s, neither of whom I’d seen in a very long time. As luck would have it, my route came back via the Lake District, where (shockingly) I’d never ever been before, and where Claire had planned to spend a few days. We realised by accident we’d be in the same place at the same time, and so arranged to meet up and spend a few days together. As luck would also have it, though, we were cancelled due to persistent problems with the flooding and, sensible girl, she decided to go shopping in Selfridge’s instead. So, yet again, the promise of the Lakes proves elusive. One day…

Still, I first visited Joyce, a friend and colleague of my Mum’s when she worked in the mental health unit of the local health centre. She picked me up from Ludlow Station in her bright yellow convertible coupé and we chatted pretty much non-stop for the next 24 hours. She hadn’t changed a bit – still delightful, intelligent company, and she beat me 2-0 at Scrabble as well. I was thoroughly outplayed I must admit. Next time, though. Here she is in the kitchen of the house she’s selling (very nice, if anyone’s interested):

Also, incidentally comedy fans, Joyce is the mother of one Jo Brand, of whom you may have heard.

Next it was on to Kendal to visit Christine, who is the widow of the psychiatrist with whom both Joyce and my Mum worked. I had met her before, but not since I was very small, and so a little more getting-to-know-you was required, but we got on extremely well, and I’m very pleased to have re-made her acquaintance. Since it rained the whole of Saturday (and since many areas were still close to underwater) we paid a visit to Blackwell, the Arts & Crafts House, a place my Dad raved about last time they were up this way, and it’s easy to see why. Well worth a visit if your in the area. Christine is, amongst other things, a painter these days, so a backdrop of some of her work seemed appropriate:

On the way to stay at Jan and Dave’s new place, where they very kindly offered to put me up until my place was ready, I stopped in at the flat to peruse progress, wished I hadn’t such was the state of the place, and left in a hurry for Prestonpans. One positive of the visit, though, was that it gave me a chance to make a change to the lounge colour scheme, which due to a huge miscalculation on my part, was turning a rather loud shade of pink. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn’t. It’s been changed. ‘Nuff said.

I spent the next few days commuting into town for tai chi and yoga, and did a bit of mooching around Prestonpans, which has an unexpectedly arty side. There are murals everywhere, and a totem pole co-carved by proper Native Americans. I’d only gone for a stroll by the sea, but having spotted the murals stopped into an oddly-named pub (the Gothenburg) to discover not only more about the art, but also about Temperance Movement pubs. Whodathunkit?

By the Saturday I could move back to the flat, by then in need of epic cleaning, which I spent the next three or four days doing, and which still, in truth, isn’t really finished. But I was. I was meant to be resting, and hadn’t done very much of it, hence turning my attention to intermittent bouts of test cricket and yoga. I’m still pretty tired, but the not having to get up early and the not having to commute are gradually helping. Personally I’ll be glad when Christmas and New Year are over with, but that’s a slightly different story, and about where we came in, I think.